


The Maple Princess

by AephiliaStarlight



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Asexual Relationship, Disaster Lesbians, F/F, Fluff and Angst, HaruMatsu, Kaede is Kind of a Big Mood, Maki is Kind of OOC, Mentions of Kokichi But He Doesn't Show Up, Spoilers, Useless Lesbians, implied saimota
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 13:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19746850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AephiliaStarlight/pseuds/AephiliaStarlight
Summary: It's been two years since Ultimate Pianist Kaede Akamatsu and Ultimate Child Caregiver Maki Harukawa have graduated from Hope's Peak Academy... and it's been three years since they've started dating. Kaede's studying piano at a prestigious conservatoire, while also performing in her own concerts. It's all incredibly stressful, but her girlfriend is there for her whenever Kaede needs her. Maki, on the other hand, has quit her old job associated with the orphanage, and has been trying, to various degrees of success, to find a new one. She doesn't have much that she can call hers, but at least she has Kaede. In a world wholly different from the one that they shared in school, the two girls help each other discover - and rediscover - the intricacies of what it means to be alive.





	The Maple Princess

January ❉ _Piano_ _Concerto No. 1_ ❉ Tchaikovsky

_It’s the morning before Kaede’s flight: she’s going to perform in a concert far away from home. She would normally be excited to participate in an event of such importance, but there is one thing she’s a little upset about: her girlfriend, Maki, won’t be able to come along with her. On a beautiful winter day, the two confront some of their anxieties._

🎶

“I hate the cold,” Maki complains. “It’s just so… _cold_.”

“Oh, come on, Maki…” Kaede teases, turning back to pout at her girlfriend. “It’s not even that bad today! Besides, don’t you want to spend some time together before I have to leave? And what better way to spend time than to walk around in the snow on a beautiful winter morning?”

“I can think of at least a hundred different things better than this.” _Well, I can._ Maki justifies to herself. _Punching Ouma in the face, for instance…_ She knows Kaede wouldn’t approve, though, so she keeps her suggestions to herself. “Anyways, enough about me. How are you feeling about the performance? Actually, what will you be playing?”

“Maki! How could have you forgotten already?” Kaede chides. “It’s Tchaikovsky’s first piano concerto, remember? The one with the opening in D flat major!” She hums the opening notes cheerily, then continues with a passionate smile that (to Maki, at least) could light up the darkest of evenings. “It’s one of my favorite pieces ever, actually! The entire first movement is just gorgeous; oh, and the orchestration too...”

She lets Kaede ramble on. _It’s kind of adorable, really, the way she can just talk forever about her favorite piano pieces, sometimes without even pausing to take a breath._ Still, it doesn’t quite negate Maki’s distaste for the cold weather. Although she supposes that, even with the horrible chill, the streets do look quite pretty covered in white. It had been snowing heavily last night, and Maki had thought - or maybe even hoped? - that it would continue snowing even through the morning, and that her girlfriend would maybe have to cancel her flight. Maki had woken up rather early, even for her standards, and had found it difficult to go back to sleep. Kaede had been sleeping soundly right next to her, and she always took extra care to not disturb her rest.

So she sat on the edge of their bed, looked out the window, and had been mesmerized by the beauty of the night. The snowflakes descended gracefully, almost as if in a waltz to which only they knew the steps... and at times their motions even reminded Maki of the confident motions of Kaede's fingers on the piano keys, which always enchanted her whenever she saw her perform. _So powerful, and yet so gentle._ Maki had wondered if the night would last forever, but of course the snow had stopped eventually, and the sun had risen in a sudden, dazzling flash of light, as if saying: _I am back, and now_ _life begins anew._

“-and of course, it went on to be a success! Rubinstein even started performing the piano solo parts after that, if you can believe it. But I’ve told you this story before, haven’t I... ”

“I guess so.” _I honestly don’t remember._ Maki loves hearing the passion in Kaede’s voice, but as for actually paying close attention to what she’s saying... “So I guess you must be really excited for this event? Lots of people will be tuning in, and I’m sure they’ll love to listen to you perform.”

“Yeah! Of course. Although…” Kaede suddenly sounds apprehensive about something.

“Oh, is there anything wrong?” Maki asks. “I thought you loved doing this kind of thing.”

“To be perfectly honest,” Kaede confesses, “I’m really, _really_ nervous? I keep on thinking that I’ll mess up somewhere, and it’s just… it’s scary, you know? In front of so many people and everything…”

“Ah. I didn’t know you had stage fright.” _She’s just always way too excited about every opportunity to play the piano in front of people that I never even considered the possibility._

“Darling, are you kidding? _Of course_ I get anxious whenever I perform! And sometimes anxious doesn’t even come close to describing how I feel.” Kaede shakes her head. “Performing on stage is one of the most frightening things you can ever do. Like… minutes before they call your name, you start to question if you even remember your pieces that well. Sometimes you can’t even recall the opening measures. If someone else is performing before you, you could get completely confused; the music starts to blend together, and time seems to pass by so quickly that you barely have any time to think about _any_ of the things you told yourself to do in your performance.”

“Kaede...”

“Your hands will feel cold, even in the summer. They’ll feel sweaty, even when you’re not sweating at all. I mean, sometimes even breathing becomes difficult, like something’s pressing up against your neck. When you walk on stage, it can feel wrong to even smile. To bow. Every movement can feel awkward, right up until you place your fingers on the keys… That’s when the magic happens. Well, _can happen._ Sometimes it goes well, and you can lose yourself in the music starting from the first note. But sometimes…”

Maki stays silent. She doesn’t really know what to say; she wishes she could hold Kaede’s hand, pull her close and reassure her. But something about what Kaede’s saying is starting to make her feel anxious as well. She’s never performed in front of a crowd, of course. And yet her words remind her of her old job, of the way she used to feel before completing an assignment…

“Sometimes, you mess up.” Kaede continues. “Then I just… I end up remembering what my piano tutor once tell me. I was six at the time, I think, maybe seven or eight. I couldn’t play this piece properly - maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough, or maybe it was just too difficult for me at the time. All I remember was that she was really, really upset at me, and I was getting really scared and nervous. When I had messed up for what was probably the fifth time, she told me to stand up, and slammed down the fallboard-”

“Fallboard?”

“You know, the cover over the keys. Anyways, it was loud, and I got really confused and started crying. ‘If you can’t play properly’, she said, ‘then you shouldn’t play at all. When you’re performing, the audience doesn’t care if you’ve tried your best during practice. All they can hear is what you’re playing at the time, and if you play poorly, your performance might as well be over.’ Something like that.”

“What a bitch.”

She shrugs. “But I’ve always thought that she was kind of right. A good performance lasts for quite a while, you know? Even after you’re done, the audience will remember your music fondly, because you’ve made them care about the music. But a bad one… it’s kind of like you’ve stopped playing already. The music stops, the curtains fall, and the audience no longer has a reason to care about you. You’ve failed to bring a smile to their faces, failed to make them feel anything with your music. All they really want is you to be gone, no matter how hard you try. I… I don’t really get nightmares about it, but I always have this… vision, every time I perform. The audience hates my music, they want me to just stop. They’re shouting at me, telling me that I don’t have any talent, and I’m trying my best, _my absolute best_ , but it’s too much, the noise is too much and my time is up.”

Silence. When Kaede speaks again, she sounds dangerously on the verge of tears. “And it’s not just piano either. Whenever I think I’ll fail, or whenever I feel like I’ve failed, I end up thinking about what my tutor said: ‘your performance might as well be over.’ And that scene always comes up, with me playing poorly, with the audience laughing at my failure. I try to do better, I really do… but I just end up making things worse. I feel like I’ve lost everyone’s trust, and it’s devastating. But what I’m most scared of is messing up when I’m trying to do something for someone I actually care about… Then it’s like, a thousand times worse. Even when they tell me that everything is fine, that I didn’t do anything wrong, I always feel like I could’ve tried harder, that I didn’t do enough, that I wasn’t enough… And it just ends up happening again, and again, just like...” She pauses, as if unsure of whether or not she should continue.

 _Oh, oh please no,_ Maki thinks. _Please tell me it’s not about that stupid thing._ “Just like?”

“... just like last night, where I messed up like an idiot!” Kaede blurts out, crying.

… _it’s about the stupid dinner._ Maki wishes that she could just sigh out loud, in exasperation, but she rushes to her girlfriend’s side without hesitation, and wraps her in a hug.

🎶

Last night, Kaede had meant to surprise Maki by making a farewell dinner. She was going to be away for a week, after all, and it would be the last night they spent together before her flight. She had put an immense amount of care into planning the whole thing, not to mention the actual cooking. Kaede did always like things to be all nice and pretty and perfect.... _just like herself,_ Maki always thought.

It would have been a good way to spend their last night together, Maki supposes, _if_ the dinner had turned out well. What actually did end up happening, though, was that Saihara and Momota had called Kaede while she was still preparing food. They had heard all about the upcoming concert, and the boys wanted to wish her luck before her flight. Momota promised that he would be cheering for her while watching her performance live, even though it would be two in the morning for them, and Saihara promised that he would make sure that Momota didn’t wake up the neighbors with his yelling. 

It was kind of sweet of them, but Kaede had ended up being distracted by their call, and by the time Momota finally hung up, the food was completely burnt. They ended up having to eat leftovers for the night, all while Kaede constantly apologized for ‘ruining everything,’ and Maki found herself having to tell her girlfriend over and over again that she had done nothing of the sort. In other words, it wasn’t exactly the best night ever. She had hoped that Kaede wouldn’t bring it up on their morning walk, but perhaps that was only to be expected…

🎶

Maki waits for Kaede’s sobbing to subside before speaking. “Kaede, don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. We’ll be fine, you’re going to be back in a week, and we can have a nice dinner when you’re back.” 

Kaede’s response is soft, her voice trembling as she whispers. “Th…thanks, Maki… I guess I just really wanted our night to be perfect, you know? But I ended up failing with even that, even though I tried so…” 

“Kaede.” Maki says sharply, and she looks up in alarm. “It’s just… Look, I’m not going to say something trite and inconsiderate like Momota would. He would probably be all like: ‘you know what, failure is awesome, and as long as you keep trying you’ll get it eventually!’” Maki’s impression of Kaito’s voice is half-assed, but Kaede manages a weak smile regardless.

“Only idiots would think like that. Failure hurts,” she continues, “for almost everyone. It’s like you said. Sometimes the audience mocks you. Sometimes the lid comes crashing down. Then the curtains fall, and all you have left is silence.”

 _I would know_ , she thinks bitterly to herself. _After what happened to..._

Maki tries to banish those thoughts from her head. _It’s been so long. No use thinking about it now. Focus on the issue at hand, Maki._ “I know what it feels like,” she assures Kaede. “To feel like you’ve failed. When you just couldn’t bring happiness to the ones that needed it most, to help them… even to put a smile on their faces. But even so…”

 _Even so what?_ She opens her mouth to speak, to continue, but she doesn’t know what to say. Every word feels wrong to use, every phrase that she can think of feels useless and empty on her tongue. A sudden sense of exhaustion overwhelms Maki, and she can no longer ignore the doubts bubbling up inside of her. How long has it been since her friend had died? How long has it been, exactly, since her own fallboard closed shut, since a never-ending silence had fallen on the remains of her own stage? Why is she still here, saying these useless things? How can she convince Kaede if she cannot even convince herself, that she is not just a girl marked by failure, that all the years she has wasted after her friend’s death have not been meaningless, that she should not have simply died that night she had failed?

Her performance is over. Then why is she still here? Why does she still remain?

🎶

Some mornings she would wake up and feel the weight of these unanswerable questions crash upon on her inert body unrelentingly, and she would start to panic. It was as if an unknown attacker had broken into her room, pinned her down, placed a knife to her throat, and demanded of her the impossible. As if they had said, in a darkness illuminated by the cold glint of steel, _live,_ live or be murdered. _Live_ , she would repeat, without much conviction; the word felt repulsive to listen to. She would try, without moving a muscle, to throw off this strange entity, but they only laughed and jeered and held her tighter, all the while whispering, _live_ . The taunting made her nauseous, and it seemed to her that the attacker was demanding of her the impossible. How was she to live? Why was _she_ , Maki Harukawa, to live? Nonetheless, she had obeyed their impossible demands, had dutifully obeyed them, every day and minute and second of the past few years. She was still alive, helplessly alive.

Yet some mornings, in her panic, she would turn around and a different sight would greet her: the brilliant, warm golden hues of Kaede’s hair would fill her vision. Yes, Kaede was still there. She had never left, she was only sleeping. And even in sleep, her presence stole the spotlight, demanding Maki’s complete attention… her girlfriend could be incredibly unfair sometimes. On these mornings she felt the sudden urge to get up from bed early, and simply sit next to Kaede, just to observe the motions of her sleep. _Her chest moves in perfect harmony with the soft rhythm of her breathing._ Maki was still there, still alive, but so was Kaede. Somehow that made everything alright.

🎶

Of course, it is Kaede who pulls her back to the present, her expression tinged by a mixture of sorrow and anticipation, waiting for what she has to say. _Oh, what the heck._ She pulls Kaede closer, and plants a kiss on her lips. She moves her face away just quickly enough for it to not feel sensual, but at the same time, she holds Kaede firmly in her gaze. The other girl is taken aback, and a bit of red begins to creep up her cheeks. _I guess you’re not the only one who can be unfair_.

The words that she could not conjure up now find their way to her lips, as if summoned by the stimulus of contact. “Kaede, even when the performance comes to a close, you’ll still be there. Even when the music stops, you’ll still go on.” Maki takes a deep breath. “And I’ll be with you.”

“M...Maki…”

“I know what you’re like, Kaede. You try to do too much and place all of the blame on yourself when you don’t succeed. You’re always trying to put a smile on everyone’s faces… including mine. People like you, but you don’t always manage to make everyone happy. I mean, you don’t always manage to make me happy. And I know you consider yourself a failure because of that, you idiot, you’ve told me as much.

“I won’t be the one to tell you that your failures don’t mean anything, that you’ll always find the strength to try again, that you can just brush aside each mistake by flashing a smile. In fact, I can’t. I can’t presume to understand just how you feel in every situation, nobody can. But I can promise you this, Kaede: as long as you’re here, I’ll be here with you.”

 _It can be just the two of us. You rushing to hug me after a performance, or asking for me to come to your side and comfort you, or telling me just to stay where I am and describe to you how brilliant you look up there on the stage_ . _Whatever it is that you want of me, Kaede, I will be there._ She relaxes the tenseness in her muscles, and a smile fights its way to present itself on her face. She lets it win. Kaede needs it, after all… and maybe she needs it too.

“Ah, jeez…” Kaede lightly brushes her face, now dampened with tears. The edges of her mouth slightly twist upwards to form an embarrassed grin, as she apologizes: “I’m so sorry… I really didn’t mean to bring down the mood, Maki. I just wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend, but she ended up having to comfort me and everything!”

“It’s fine. Please don’t make a big deal out of it.” She shrugs. “Just… maybe think of me before your performance?” _Because I’ll definitely be thinking of you._

Kaede’s hand finds its way to hers, and their fingers lock together, sending Maki waves of warmth that feel like veins of fire traveling throughout her body, protecting her against the cold assault of the winter wind. But an even greater fire burns upon her lips, and when Kaede leans in for another kiss, she starts to think that maybe winter mornings aren’t that bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as some gay fluff I was writing, but I rather liked how it turned out, so hopefully I'll be able to continue writing more of these disaster lesbians~ KaeMaki isn't exactly the most popular ship out there, but as someone who identifies very strongly with Kaede and just adores Maki, it's a pairing that I love very much!  
> Anyways, hopefully I can update once a week at least, but no promises (>w<☆)  
> \- Aephie Starlight  
> July 10, 2019
> 
> A quick update; I've changed the first chapter quite a bit - for example, changing the piece from Wanderer Fantasy to Tchaikovsky 1 - since I've planned out the schedule for the rest of the chapters. Coming up is Satie's Gymnopedies!  
> \- Aephie Starlight  
> July 19, 2019


End file.
